So this is the weirdly intense relationship movie that the whole world was abuzz about last year. I meant to see it in theaters a million times, but everyone said that they simply would not, for they were not in the mood to be punched in the gut. So I saved it for a mopey night at 11pm, when I would be so gut-wrenched by watching a strong, realistic relationship slowly devolve, so I could just fucking cry my eyes out and then fall asleep and feel better.
And the result? Frankly, this film was not sad enough.
Look at all this Things-Not-Being-Too-Shabby
It's a perfectly fine movie, but the hype about how traumatizing it would be is certainly overblown. That being said, actually, it's more than a fine movie. It's pretty damn good, and lots of things work in its favor.
First, the blurry way it is framed and the way the color blue dominates the scheme is super-duper evocative and make the whole experience draining, sad and cold. And might I add, the trailer is one of my favorite ones I've seen. It perfectly encapsulates everything you need to know about the movie without telling you any of the details. Also, Ryan Gosling's voice is so cute and nerdy, and the high-five at the end is the pinnacle of romance for me.
The movie shifts back and forth between Dean and Cindy meeting and falling in love, and their grown-up lives with their little girl Frankie and their relationship slowly falling apart. The general consensus on this film is that this is what real, non-movie relationships feel like. But I think the reason Dean and Cindy are so relatable is because these two characters base their conception of what love is supposed to be on film. It's a little meta- and jarring in that way, because going to the theater with an idea of what movie-love is like, and seeing two realistic characters foolishly pursuing that.
If you know me, you know I don't like sparkles and excitement love, cinematic love. I mean, I like it when Jimmy Stewart is doing it to Jean Arthur or something, but that's just in a silly-heart-flutter-y way, the same way I like bad horror movies and candy corn. I have huge problems with the sense of fluttery romanticism that is so entrenched in our movies. So maybe that is why it didn't slap me in the face. I don't relate to this relationship because I think it's foolish to use an ethereal concept of love that you extracted from your body's reaction to being sexually attracted to someone, and to use that as a brace for building a relationship on, and consistently fall back on it in the face of all the hard fucking work that it takes to make two disparate people compatible. Because it's a weak fucking brace, and the strong brace is the actual work and patience in day to day life. Suffice to say, being able to make coffee in the morning next to someone every day without wanting to punch them in the face is the most romantic thing ever. "I don't want to punch you in the face" = vows.
I was watching Ryan Gosling's interview on this movie, and it was so sweet. He was talking about how he hoped this movie would cause people to wake up, to see that love is not enough, to understand that there is struggle and hopefully help people avoid this with their loved ones. Isn't Ryan Gosling sweet? Ryan Gosling is very sweet.
I care, you guys.
Anyway, whatever this movie leaves you thinking about love and past relationships with, it's still a really good film. It's very organic feeling, and the acting is some of the most realistic and dirty I've seen in awhile. There are no bells or flourishes to make the characters seem more pretty or cinematic, they are just real people to the full extent. Both Dean and Cindy are flawed - Dean's just sort of an idealistic dummy who doesn't know what it means to work on things, and Cindy is a tired and overworked woman who is selfishly angry at herself and Dean for letting them devolve out of the idealized and happy love. There is one scene where Cindy tells Dean "I don't know what to do. We're not good for each other, and I don't know how to stop". I loved that, and I guess I do relate to that, to that point in the relationship where you keep telling yourself to be nicer, to be better, but if you are in a relationship where you are an angry cunt to them all the time...that doesn't just go away easily. Not me, though. I'm a very nice lady, yessiree.
This movie is sweet, sincere, well-acted and really well-written. It did not rip my heart and stomp on it but it may yours, dependent on how idealistically you view your romances. If you are a cynical bitch, you may just end up saying "oh, those suckers had it coming". But nonetheless, see it for nothing else than the acting. In Ebert's review (he's so smart, you guys), he said "It is easier for an actor to play the same character at 24 and 60 than at 24 and 30." I think that's paramount to why the acting is so great. The *weight* of the past six years is felt in the later scenes of the movies. In the flash-backs, they look different. They may be occasionally snarky or skeptical, but they are lighter and happier and prettier. In the later scenes, they are worn and tattered, and it just manifests in their appearance and mannerisms, even though the differences are slighter. I hate that Gosling wasn't even nominated, and I hate, hate, hate that Michelle Williams lost to Natalie Portman is Black Swan. That movie was comically bad b-movie acting and yeah, it was neat and fun and there was some weird lesbian sex, but Michelle Williams was extraordinary and evocative and realistic and smart.
Also, she is a total fucking babe.
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