Peach & Schnapps

Another day, another salsa.  Today I had it with Montecito Roadhouse chips (which are very good chips) while watching the new episode of the Simpsons.  Can we talk about how that episode was very good?  It was actually the foodie episode (topical!) where Marge and the kids get obsessed with trying Ethiopian Liver Air Restaurants (or whatever) but then Homer wants to go too, but Marge is a jealous wench so she tricks him into going to a meth house?  Maybe I just have low expectations for my Simpsons right now, but that was a solid episode that went well with salsa.  I may even make watching the Simpsons a part of my routine from now on.

But more importantly, salsa.  Today I moved into Peach and Schnapps.  The ingredient list reads : Peaches, Tomato, Jalapeno pepper, Onion, Black olives, Green peppers, Sugar, Peach juice, Garlic, Salt, Parsley, Canola Oil, Peach Schnapps, Cumin, Cayenne pepper, Cilantro.  

I bought it to have as an appetizer to my mushroom soup, and had it with Guiltless Gourmet Blue Corn Chips.  Now that you know all the details, let's review.

Appearance – Brown and murky, very similar to the Gin and Olives.  The pieces of peach did well to improve the appearance, but still, only marginally.  2.5/5

Smell – It was a strong kick of spicy pepper with an afterscent of peach.  I don't think that the peaches themselves evoked that smell, but rather the peach schnapps.  Still, a definite peach kick with a sticky-hot smell.  3.7/5

Alcohol - They used peach schnapps.  This highlighted the peach flavor greatly.  It was a unique peach flavor...but had you not told me it had alcohol in it, I would not have noticed.  3/5 

Flavor – I really liked how well-rounded and strong the peach flavor was.  It was a nice, hot salsa with a sweet aftertaste, as opposed to just being a sweet-tomato-y mush, as a lot of peach salsas usually are.  Still, I wish they coaxed some more of the schnapp out (really, squigly red line, I can't have a singular version of "schnapps"?  I can never have just one "schnapp"?).  It's Top Chef season though, so I'm going to factor my bias into my analysis, because this time of year makes me love talking about "coaxing flavors" and "highlighting different aspects without deferring from the autheticity of the dish".  So, I wish it was better, but it was still a great peach salsa.   4.2/5

Heat – I am beginning to think that Boozy Salsa has just one base salsa recipe that they spike.  The heat was perfect, but exactly the same as Gin and Olives.  Let down?  Marginally.  I wanted a new salsa experience, with new heat variations.  However, this heat really complimented the sweet taste.  So I'm sticking wtih 5/5, but I'm disappointed, salsa.  Not mad, just disappointed.  Because I care.

Overall experience  - Good salsa, noshed down pretty dramatically.  I even came prepared from last time, with the appropriate amount of chips, water and ice cream to follow.  A good, cheer-up salsa experience.  I just wanted a little bit more show-off-y-ness, a little more to just top our last salsa experience.  So, it's getting a  4.7/5 for overall experience. 

With a 3.6 of average components (which is the same as the last one!  All in terms of appearance and lack of alcohol flavor!), and an overall experience of 4.7, that brings the rating up to 8.3. It only lost points because it was a let down from previous salsa.  But I like this!  I am really zero-ing in on Boozy Salsa's problem, which is that's it's not pretty or drunk enough.  

                                                                        

  Aw, Kenneth pops up on the very first page of google images when you search for "pretty drunk".  Good for him!

Olives & Gin!

We begin the Salsa Crusade with Olives and Gin, Nancy's drink of choice as of lately. 

The ingredient list reads : White vinegar, Tomato, Jalapeno pepper, Onion, Black olives, Green olives, White sugar, Gin, Garlic, Canola oil, Parsley, Xanthum gum, Salt, Red pepper, Cumin, Cilantro.  

I bought it to have as an appetizer to my mushroom soup, and had it with Guiltless Gourmet Blue Corn Chips.  Now that you know all the details, let's review.

Appearance – Brown and murky, and it looks thick and saucy. You can distinguish different vegetables, which is definitely a plus, but there is this backbone of pale, tan goop that is distracting.  This salsa uses xanthum gum, which makes it a little thicker.  Appearance wise, I think that works against it.  It gets a 2.1/5 

Smell – It had a lovely tang to it, which I really appreciated.  I could not smell any juniper though, which I really, really wanted.  However, the smell was nice, olive-y and sour, but still very fresh-smelling.  The appetizing smell more than made up for the murky appearance.  4/5

Alcohol – Well, this is difficult to gauge.  No, I did not taste gin.  But there was a strong undercurrent of almost implacable flavor.  It had a sour-y essence without being necessarily “sour” and a hint of sweetness without being sweet.  The first ingredient listed is plain ol’ white vinegar, so my guess is that the addition of vinegar to the classic brine-and-gin combination brings out a lovely base flavor that highlights the salsa.  The sugar highlighted a natural sweetness in the gin; I can’t believe I don’t put gin in more of my cupcakes.  So, anyway, no, I did not get a huge kick of the alcoholic flavor.  But there was definitely something *there*, which can be attributed to the gin.  Still, I would have loved to know I was consuming alcoholic based on the flavor and not my previous understanding.  So, it is downgraded to 3.5/5.

 I would like more of this.  All of the time, but also, in this salsa.

Flavor – It was a really good salsa, guys.  It was a really fucking yummy salsa.   The chunks of vegetables and olives had their own distinct flavors – the black and the green olives didn’t just mesh together into one taste, but maintained their individual shape and flavors.  I cannot believe I have not found a salsa before this that includes green olives, but it is an absolute revelation.  All the flavors worked lovely together.  4.5/5

Heat – This was probably a perfect heat for a salsa.  I also really love that the jalapeno peppers maintained individual chunks, as opposed to being pulverized like garlic.  I knew when I was biting into a particularly spicy bite.  And it was lovely that the spice build – every bite you got something sweet and brine-y and sour in the beginning, with a lot of full flavors, but it followed by very spicy kick.  The spice gave you time to enjoy the other flavors, which were powerful enough to rival the heat, but it was still hella spicy.  All of this may sound disgusting, but it all worked together perfectly.  5/5

Overall experience - Yowza, what a fucking good salsa.  The Boozy Salsa crusade started off with a kick.  Honestly, there was nothing wrong with my salsa experience.  I could have eaten this salsa for hours.  The appearance stopped bothering me pretty quick.  5/5 for overall experience. 

With a 3.6 of average components (damn you, appearance and lack of juniper flavor!), and an overall experience of 8, that brings the rating up to 8.6.  Whoa.  If this was pizza, it would be the best pizza in Portland.  Let's see how the other salsas measure up.  Clearly, you are on the edge of your seat about this.

 

A New Challenge!

Sometimes I am a very focused and determined lady.  Yesterday I walked twenty minutes to Micucci's and sat for thirty more waiting for the famed Sicilian Slab, slapping down $4.75 of my hard-earned cash for *you*, dear (imaginary) reader, and for the nobility of the pizza crusade.  Sometimes, I take nothing more seriously than pizza.  Sometimes, though, I get distracted by salsa, and start a whole 'nother crusade on the side.  I'm unpredictable!

 "I'm shocked!" - You

Okay, but in the Public Market House, I noticed on the way back shelves a small little label that said "Olives and Gin".  Being a bit of a lush, I am naturally attracted to those words.  I reached back and pulled back a mysterious and marvelous jar (Okay, I knew right away it was salsa, but the mystery adds to the whole shebang of the thing), and read a delightful little sea shanty on the side.  

The very same day that the ship first set sail,

Old Pegleg the cook spilled his tankard of ail.

It dropped in the salsa that brewed on the hob

"Alas!" Pegleg cried, "there goes me job!"

"Perhaps I can save it".  He dipped in his spoon.

The taste was sublime - Pegleg fell in a swoon.

Recovering quick, he filled up a jar.

"This is worth more than gold," mused the old salty tar.

Pegleg ran to the fore deck, brandishing chips,

crying, "Mateys, ahoy, let this snack touch your lips."

The captain was smitten and dug in with such zeal

he forgot his sworn duty and took his hands from the wheel...

So yeah, they all died.  But the important thing that this shanty was communicating to me was the fact that I held in my hand a brand devoted entirely to boozy salsa, aka devoted entirely towards making my life better.

Here is their website:  http://stores.homestead.com/shipwreckgalley/StoreFront.bok  The old man singing My New All-Time Favorite Shanty is actually rather annoying, so try to pause him as quickly as you can.

Anyway, I'm hilariously making a big hubbabaloo, but to say it with brevity, this is a neat thing.  There are six flavors : Black Bean and Beer, Black Pepper and Ale, Cherry and Brandy, Chipotle and Tequila, Olives and Gin, and Peach and Schnapps.  I am super looking forward to the black pepper with ale, the cherries and brandy, and the olives and gin.

 They are adorable and I love them!

In my reviews (haha, did you not think I would do very serious, detailed reviews?  Obviously, I'll be doing some reviews), I will follows the same rating structure as the pizza crusade.  Meaning that, there will be five individual components rated on 1-5 scale, and then are averaged together and added to an overall experience, which is rated on a 1-5 scale.    There are only six, so this obsession will die down pretty quickly.  As opposed to pizza, which will go on....forever.